


Herblet (Herb x Scarlet Overkill) - When We First Met: A Short Story (From the Perspective of Herb Overkill)

by orphan_account



Category: Minions (2015)
Genre: F/M, First Love, I Love You, Love, Love at First Sight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 17:31:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18503713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Basically, this is the beginning of Herb and Scarlet Overkill. How they first met. It's a short story, so don't expect a novel.





	Herblet (Herb x Scarlet Overkill) - When We First Met: A Short Story (From the Perspective of Herb Overkill)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Taylor Gray](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Taylor+Gray).



I bet you think I'm evil.  
Scratch that - you know I'm evil.  
Or do you?  
Here's the thing - I guess you could say I changed my ways for the love of my life. She was so beautiful - but so maniacal. Her evil grin was hypnosis in itself.  
Well, welcome to the world of the man you think you know.  
It all started when she was 18, I was 19…  
I worked in a warehouse. Mainly just to make a living. It wasn't anything I enjoyed - I'll grant you that.  
The lights always flickered: as my boss, Jack, was too lazy to pay a few bucks. Shelves would fall over if you blew on them hard enough. The smell of mildew is the reason I wore a surgical mask to work a lot of the time. The slug outbreak in there was outrageous, and they usually had to fight with the roaches for shelter in the ginormous wall cracks.  
The building was in disgusting condition, and Jack was the God of Manipulation. I would have guessed that we slid past - what - seven health inspections by this point?  
I was mainly responsible for manufacturing parts. Once in awhile I would tighten a bolt or two, but only when Jack wasn't around. He didn't trust me, as every single time he did - I failed him.  
Anyways, that day was a slow one. I was stocking shelves when Jack came up to me. He was quite the disgusting character. His fingernails loaded with black tar and cigar in mouth. He tucked in a white tank top over his bulging gut, although it was covered in food stains from the last twenty years. He took a puff of his cigar and threw something at me.  
"Get that shit off of my property. I don't want it here." he said, scowl-faced and all.  
It happened to be my robot. The first one I had ever created. But it must've been causing mishap, Jack was red with fury.  
"Could you consider treating my work with a little more respect? That took me days."  
"Look me in the eye and tell me I'm someone who cares. I don't wanna see that junk around here again, understood?"  
I couldn't look at him, so he just returned to his cigar and walked away.  
I hated working there. But ever since my mother (who hated me all of her life) had thrown me out, I was on my own. My resume could be written on a corner of paper. Times were rough, and things weren't too groovy.  
My friend and roommate Daxton, who I called Dax - strolled into my work that day. He was one of the biggest bums I knew. He lost three jobs in one week, and was currently "looking".  
Bullshit.  
But, I needed his unemployment checks he collected every month, so I sucked it up and let him live with me. He called himself a "ladies man" even though most women were primarily annoyed with his presence.  
Dax was skinny, and he wore a completely unbuttoned tropical collar shirt, collar popped of course because it made him look "cooler". Although - if you ask me, it made him look stupid. He had on a pair of sweatpants and slippers - because apparently - once he got to his dick, he stopped trying.  
I walked over to the counter, because I had warned him about how angry Jack got whenever my friends strolled in here unannounced - especially if they weren't planning on buying any car parts or whatever.  
"Hey, Herbie!" he said, his sunglasses riding on the tip of his nose. He was probably half-sober at the time. He leaned on the counter I had just cleaned - and that made me want to slap him. I was used to wanting to slap this kid, though - he was just pure asshole.  
"Dax… you're here - again."  
"Bro, I had nothing to do. Just got fired from whatever the hell it was called - Jared's."  
"What did you do this time?"  
"Apparently, when you're a cashier, it's inappropriate to hook up with the customer. Or - try to… she cried harassment and I got thrown out on my ass."  
"Mm. Okay, is that all?"  
"Dude, I wanna check the place out a bit -"  
"Hey news flash 'dude', the last time you did that, Jack cut my salary in half because I had to pay for all the shit you broke."  
"Okay, okay. I'm out. I'll see you at home. Also - it's your night to do the dishes."  
Dax sauntered out the door. Oh, yeah… he was drunk.  
"Every night is my night." I murmured so he couldn't hear. Although at this point he had already gotten halfway through the empty parking lot, running right into a woman who had two carts full of groceries from next door.  
I walked back over to where my robot was, and picked it up. It was the only successful invention I had made so far. I wasn't good at inventing back then, I had really only started in the field. But it was something I wanted to do, for the rest of my life.  
I put the robot into my bag, and for whatever reason - that robot that had been kicked by Jack was the real eye-opener…  
I couldn't think of a single person that I associated with that wasn't toxic as hell.  
My mother came to my house all the time, drunk and tired. Jack was a world-class asshole, and the only reason I let Dax stay with me was because I needed the cash.  
I guess the toxicity had gotten to me.  
Jack walked up to me.  
"Just, go. You're useless."  
I nodded, picked up my things, and left.  
It wasn't uncommon for Jack to make me leave early. He hated when I stood around. He also just hated looking at me in general.  
I went home that night, took off that disgusting Wranglers' shirt of mine, and realized I had enough money to go to that diner I'd always wanted to check out. It was a pretty penny, at least for me. For any middle-class citizen, it was a walk in the park. I could finally afford to get the steak I always hear people talking about. I put on my nicest shirt, and -  
"I'm going with you to the diner, bub. Nice try." Dax stopped me.  
Shoot. I had just gotten my hand on the door.  
"Then crack open your wallet, because you're paying for your junk."  
"Whatever, man. Let's go - I'll drive." Dax ripped open the door, and practically jumped down the entire flight of stairs. I seriously hated this kid.  
We had gotten there later than I wanted, because Dax decided it would be a good idea to take the "scenic route" as he called it. But I'm almost certain he had gotten us lost and was too prideful to admit it. But, the place was still packed. Dax squeezed the car on the curb, and like the idiot he was - scraped the bumper. Shocking. Good thing the car was his.  
Dax threw the door to the place open, and sprawled himself over the counter. The lady behind it chewed her gum, unamused as Dax grinned at her.  
"We need a table for two, miss." Dax said.  
The blonde, large woman nodded and motioned us over to a table. I slid into the booth, and the second I did - I noticed a woman. She had her hair in a low bun. And she was the only girl there that looked nice in her uniform. Then, she turned around. She was so pretty. I ignored her long nose, because it worked on her - heh, heh.  
Dax, being the asswipe he is, waved the woman over the second he noticed laid eyes on her. She seemed slightly annoyed, but kept a fake grin on her face and walked over to us. Something about her attitude made her all the more attractive.  
"Hello, miss. Can I get your name?" Dax asked.  
"Do you want some food with that or are you just here to loiter?" the woman replied.  
"I didn't hear a name."  
She huffed. "My name - is Scarlet."  
"Overkill? Wait - wait - were you the one who got arrested last week for the -"  
"Will you shut up?" she spoke through gritted teeth. "This is the only place that would hire me after The Grand Heist."  
"Woah woah, missy."  
"Dude, shut up." I blurted. Scarlet stood up properly. She looked at me, almost surprised that anyone would defend her. I was really good at reading people. And what I picked up was - Scarlet was a person who was hurt. She was scared. But she put up a tough front. A very tough front. I heard that her villain empire had just gone down the toilet, so she was out of crime for a little bit.  
"Kay, jeez man. I'll just leave you with the feminine kind for awhile." Dax said, as he headed over to the bar to chat with the women.  
"Uh, why don't you - have a seat for a moment?" I asked.  
Scarlet sighed and reluctantly slid into the booth.  
"What is it?"  
"I just, wanted to talk for a bit."  
"I don't even know who you are, we're not the same kind of people. I'm not from the same world as you. Is that what you wanted to know?"  
"No. No. I just wanted to -"  
"My paycheck isn't gonna cash itself, dude."  
"Can you just listen for a -" I reached to grab her arm, but she nearly slapped me across my face.  
"Never, touch me."  
I sighed. This was a tough one. But I was determined to make her crack. She looked like the kind of person who would have the sweetest laugh if she let it show once in awhile.  
"I'm sorry. How - how old are you?"  
"Probably too young for you."  
"I'm 19."  
"Then… I'm ten years younger."  
"Scarlet…"  
"I'm 18. Did I pass the test?"  
I knew at this point she was getting annoyed with me. So I decided to use one of Dax's tricks.  
"Well… I should be going." I said, and purposely left my wallet on the seat. Not that there was much in it anyway. Oh well, the steak could wait. This was a worthy cause.  
I went home that night, and decided to go for a walk. Actually, it had nothing to do with Scarlet. Dax had smoked weed that night, and I thought I was gonna catch the second-hand high, or choke to death.  
I was hoping she would give me my wallet back, though. It had thirty dollars in it.  
Sure enough, she was walking down the road in a trench coat, black pants, and pretty red boots. Her hair was down and she had earmuffs on. She was so pretty. I know this sounds crazy but - I was in love with her.  
I stopped her, and she sighed.  
"Your wallet, I was on my way to return it to you. Here." she handed me the wallet, and started to walk away. But I stepped in front of her.  
"Scarlet…"  
"What?"  
"I really want to get to know you. Where do you live?"  
"I um… I have a loft not far from here. My roommates are out of town."  
"So, can I - my entire apartment smells like weed… do you… do you mind?"  
I could tell she was really reluctant. But she nodded.  
"My car's down the road. I didn't want people seeing it. I was just barely let off by the cops."  
There were so many questions I had, I remember. But the thing was, every time I asked too many questions, she would shush me. And it was so aggressive, it felt like a physical attack.  
God, she was an amazing woman.  
We drove to her apartment, and on the way there - I had to ask:  
"So… any family?"  
Scarlet sighed and didn't really respond. She kind of - half shook her head. But I got the point. We had climbed up a ridiculous amount of stairs, before making it to her loft apartment. It was much nicer than mine. I could already picture myself living there. Sounds weird, I know. But - something about her lit me up.  
"I don't really know what you're expecting from me… but you're gonna be let down." Scarlet said.  
I knew that wasn't true.  
"You're so hard on yourself." I said, hanging up my coat on the rack like a good citizen.  
Scarlet turned on a lamp or two, and shut the blinds. She wasn't the talkative type - it seemed. I remembered this saying that said: "When I lost myself, I lost you by extension", and I repeated that in my head for a good amount of the night.  
Scarlet looked at me for a moment. "So, you gonna sit - or just stand around like a bozo while I drag you on a leash?"  
I was kind of afraid of her, so I sat like she demanded. She got me a glass of water. Well… not a terrible host - I'll grant her that.  
She sat on the couch next to me, but a distance away. It felt like a mile, when I just wanted to be close to her.  
"This is a nice place." I said. But she made no acknowledgement to the compliment. Which I shrugged off. Nothing could make me dislike this girl.  
I grabbed her hand, but she slipped away. I looked at her.  
"Why don't you like when I touch you?"  
Scarlet looked at me for a moment, I could practically see her heart beating out of her chest, and she walked out to the balcony. I waited a moment, then followed.  
I stalled at the door for a moment. She didn't see me. I approached her, she had a glass of wine leaning over the ledge.  
"I just… I don't want to get attached. I've never had a successful relationship because people can't handle what I do for a living."  
"Have you ever killed anyone?"  
"Irrelevant as that is… I got away with it but - yes.."  
"Wow."  
There was a pause.  
"I want you to take my hand."  
Scarlet looked at me. She put down her wine and crossed her arms, giving me an evil grin. Ooh, that made me vibrate a bit.  
"And… are you trying to get me to open up my heart or my pants?"  
"A… a little bit of both."  
She laughed at that. I made her laugh! I didn't even know she did that. It made me smile. And I grabbed her hand. She tried to pull away, but I grabbed her hand a second time. She didn't retract this time.  
"Scarlet… I want you to know something. I think - I think our encounter at the diner was fate. I get it, we just met… but -"  
Scarlet looked at me. "Herb, is it? Herb… I want you to understand something. I'm not your average girl. I don't think you get it. I've been through a lot - I'm a villain for crying out loud."  
I stared at her. She stared at me.  
"We're gonna try something."  
"What?" she asked. I pulled out a red rose I had saved for her.  
I handed it to her, and she took it, confused.  
"So… I'm gonna call this the Promise Rose. Every time I screw up, you can pull off a petal. And when there's nothing but stem left? You can never talk to me again if you want."  
"I don't know if -"  
"I can do it."  
"Can you?!?" she yelled.  
"I can! I want to try!" I yelled back.  
She kissed me. And we did more than that…  
I grabbed her and pulled her inside, our lips continued to lock. I was scared, really scared. I didn't know what I was in for, but the rosy lighting dazed my mind.  
I realized she was taking off my shirt, and I felt my hands loosen her pants. Shoes went flying, and then socks. I'm gonna be honest - I had absolutely no clue what I was doing. All I knew was that I was doing it. And it was terrifying.  
What I do remember is the following morning. We were totally naked, sleeping on the floor. Scarlet had gotten up, and almost immediately she went to find something to cover herself up. Until…  
"Oh my god! Scarlet!" a woman had walked through the door. It was her old neighbor, Meredith.  
"Um… I uh…" Scarlet replied, she looked so embarrassed. We were hugging each other, completely bare. And Meredith covered her eyes and walked out of the apartment. She dropped some mail on the floor. I started laughing, and she caught on too. She was still really red.  
That was a magical night.  
And we still laugh about that morning, too.  
Dax died from overdose about two months after Scarlet and I got married. I guess looking back, I wished I helped him more.  
That rose is still in a frame on the wall…  
Not a single petal missing.


End file.
